This is How I Feel Today....

Too Much Work...

Not Enough Time!

Definetly Not Enough Appreciation!

Show me the Love!

Today I feel like this poor Pug must feel when thier owner dresses it up in funny clothing and puts it on parade for all to view at the doggie park! ANNOYED! Lets just say I cannot WAIT to get a new job! I am about to start the process and lots of things in my life changed since I quit smoking. I realized that not only could I help myself and improve my health by quitting smoking but I realized that I can really do anything I set my mind to! Lets just say that I can have better working conditons and a lot more respect elsewhere and instead of complaining about it, its time to move on! I do not have to stay in bad relationships with cigarettes, a bad employer, spouse or anyone or anything else for that matter! All I have to say for now is its amazing what happens when you quit one bad habits! Chantix started me on the path to quitting smoking and now I am making the decision to quit other things that are not working for me. Life is about choices and I do not choose to stay in a no win situation any longer than I have to. I am off to my Stop Smoking Support Group. Hope all is well with everyone out there in Chantix Blog Land.

Peace,

Diva

Hi all Fellow Quitters! I Have Been to Busy to Blog!! Still Taking Chantix and Staying Smoke Free!

Hi everyone...
I miss you guys! I have been super busy with projects and such that I have not had time to blog! I do always manage to find time to log on and read some of the ones left by the people I read most frequently. Its always good to remember where I came from. I still need that extra push of motivation that reading about someones success gives me. I think I am go going to take a quick nap and then work on some grades. The end of the semester is always crazy for me. Hopefully in a couple of weeks I will be able to CHILL and do something nice for myself. Lets see, its my birthday February 20th which is right near Dead Presidents Day. Maybe I should schedule something fun for that weekend. I will have to think about it when I go lay down. I am at the point in my life that if I don't schedule something, it never happens. I have been spending way too much time doing work and finishing projects to have fun! That needs to stop for sure. Hope all of the people who begain Chantix before me and all those just beginning are doing well in the quest for a smoke free life. I am still glad I did it!
Peace,
Diva

Still Quit....89 Days on Chantix!

I am still quit and cannot believe it has been so many days since I posted. I am at a workshop deciding what aspect of the lesson I developed about the Civil Rights Movement I am going to present. Most of the people (including myself) are not done with our lessons. Lets just say we were all kind of in trouble! I am almost done thank God! I will be up most of the night finishing. Just wanted to say hi and wish everyone a smoke free weekend.
Peace,
Diva

Got Past the Hardcore Cravings Last Night...81 days on Chantix, 71 days off Cigarettes!

Fellow quitters....
You guys are the best and so supportive! I must say the quitting is still one of the hardest things I have ever done. I got the e-mail from Chantix congratulating me on my accomplishment and that I would be receiving e-mails only twice a week now on. I cannot believe it has been over the 12 week mark for me! What a gift! Even with the stress and cravings and tuggings, this is something I still want! I know if you really want something, you have to work for it and it does not always come easy.

I went to my cousin's "Happy F*CK%I#G! 48th birthday celebration last night. It was a huge turn-out. People that she has known since like the 7th grade were there. I was so glad to see her have so many people that she loves and love her show up to celebrate. Unfortunately, many of these people smoke! You guys knew how bad I was craving before I left. Its weird because when I started smelling the smoke when I went out so see various groups of people, it smelled good for a few seconds and then started to just gross me out! I am still really amazed and blown away at this phenomena. I am glad that I asked my doctor and he agreed to extend my use of the drug for a bit longer. Again, I am much grateful for all the support and even get to give it back sometimes.
Peace,
Diva

STRESS SUCKS! CRAVING BIG TIME!!!

Hey all....
I am under tremendous stress...illness, identy theft, work stuff, living with a smoker, looking for a place to live, conference call backs, scheduling the videotaping of oral histories for a historical conference...need I say more? I think I am just overwhelmed! I do not mean to be negative, but my cravings have kicked into FULL gear! My roomate told me she was going to a hooka lounge tonite and my brain really went there. My brain kept telling me stuff like, "smoking flavored tobacco in hooka isn't really smoking, its not a cigarette, etc. I am using all of the techniques to not light up and have not! I am still taking the Chantix as prescribed. I am going to my cousins house and she is a non-smoker! I think I need a massage or something! Anyway, just thought I would post quickly. I am praying for the cravings to leave me! If you all have any suggests, give a holler!
Peace,
Diva

The Tuggings are Here...

Hi all,
Man, I have wanted to smoke really bad for the last three days! I just keep using the strategies I have learned and continue to take my Chantix. I think all this stress of identity fraud is getting to me. I went to my support group tonite. I will hopefully stay strong and keep telling myself that smoking is not an option anymore! Logging on and reading everyone's blog has been really helpful today. I am off to bed.
Peace,
Diva

Getting a Cold...Just When I Thought I Recovered!

I cannot believe that I am feeling under the weather again! I think it has to be stress! It has been said that stress can cause many forms of illness. I never used to believe it, but I am beginning to become convinced. Its been really windy around here and it is kicking my asthma into gear. I am taking Dayquil and other OTC medications because I am really congested. I have to be really careful because last time I ended up in the Emergency Room, I had really high blood pressure from that stuff. I think today I will go out and buy the stuff with the heart on the box. Hopefully, this is just a little cold and not a major episode like the last time I got sick. Believe it or not people, I am REALLY pretty healthy and hardly ever get sick! The last time I missed this many days of work, I had major surgery! I guess my body is adjusting to being a non-smoker. I really can't figure any other reason that all this is happening. Fortunately, I have training tomorrow so will not have to expend too much energy so I can give my body a rest.

12 weeks off cigarettes! Doc Ok'ed Refill

Hi all...It has been a super stressful busy week. I went back to work and shortly found out someone had stolen my identity! I am amazed that I did not smoke! I wanted one, I could almost taste one but knew:
1.) Even if I did smoke it was not going to change anything. I was still going to have to call credit card companies, change bank accounts and call up the credit bureaus.
2.) I was not going to feel better if I had a cigarette. In fact, I was probably going to feel worse, although it is really easy to get into magical thinking such as "A cigarette will calm me down so I can deal with this." No, the cigarette will take at least five minutes to suck down and then I would feel like I screwed up!

At that point, I called my doctor and left a message that I was under stress and was not ready to go off Chantix. He called me back and agreed to refill the prescription. I think I may taper down to one pill a day. I cannot believe it has been twelve weeks! I stopped smoking on 11/11/07 and now it is 1/11/08! Time really does fly!

I went back to the smoking support group (for the third time) just to give back to the new people who are struggling! It made a huge difference to see one guy who was sitting there who was successful. He was the one who told me about Chantix and that is when I started researching Chantix on the internet and I found "Maggie's Mind" my first Chantix blog that seemed to answer every single question I had and more. From there, I have been following many other Chantix bloggers journey to end the insanity of "sucking down poison" (as Maggie would say) to get a feeling of relief or courage.

I never thought I would say after 30 years of smoking,I would love life as a non-smoker! I really appreciate not being a slave to big tobacco companies and the nicotine demon! Don't get me wrong, I still want a cigarette someetimes. Sometimes I really need one! I just don't light up. I do other things: I blog, I walk around the block (not enough), I pet my cat or I watch a reality show (too many)! I also log on to "The GetQuit" Chantix support site and even called someone once when I was really going out of my mind. I have saved about $454.00 that I can use on a nice vacation or to whiten my teeth at the dentist. They are kind of dingy!! Thirty years of smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee will do that.

I will still continue to blog about my experiences and read all of yours. I really missed not being able to write anything this week. I was just too busy on the phone dealing with the indenty stuff. Hope all is well with everyone.
Peace,
Diva

First Day Back to Work....69 days of Chantix!

Well, the party is over! I went back to work today. I was surprised at how many kids showed up. I guess they missed us! Three weeks is a pretty significant break for anyone. I was even happy to go back. I did feel a few unexpected "tuggings" for a cigarette today. Maybe my non-smoker self forgot and was expecting a smoke break. I just told my former smoking self," Thanks for sharing...." I then took a quick walk around the school and later tutored a student so I didn't have time to think about smoking. I must say, I still pull out the fake cig or straw at times when I drive. I don't know if I will ever not think about smoking when I drive for long distances.

I can't believe its almost going to be 60 days off cigarettes, nicotine replacement and all that other crap! I stopped smoking on November 11, 2007! I have been on Chantix for a total of 69 days! Amazing is all I can say about it! I am looking forward to celebrating this Friday, January 11, 2007. I am going back to the support group beginning this Wednesday. I really believe you gotta give it back to keep it.
Peace,
Diva

Last Weekend Before Returning to Work Monday!

Well, here it is....my last weekend before I return to work. I cannot believe that I have been off for three weeks and didn't really go anywhere or do much of anything! What I did do was completely recover and take care of my health! I feel SO much better! I can breath again, I am no longer coughing and am off the steroids! Hell, the break-outs from the steroids even went away. I had dental work done and will work on my exercise and dieting. From this experience, I realize that without my health, other things become not very important. It took me a month to get better and now that I am better, I hope I will continue to realize how fragile life is and to live every day like its my last.

Have a great weekend everyone!
Peace,
Diva

Legendary Bingo and Dentist City!

I just wanted to send a big shout out to all my fellow Chantix bloggers for responding to my post about being scared to go off Chantix. You guys and girls are the best!

Well, I had tons of fun in the dental chair finishing up my root canal and getting the prep work done for the crown. I was in that dental chair for almost two hours! I CANNOT believe how expensive one tooth is... and I have insurance! Fortunately, my dentist lowered my part of the co-pay so it was a lot less than it could have been. I got the temporary crown and at the end of the day, I felt like I got socked in the mouth!

Later that evening, I went out with some friends to play Legendary Bingo and its definitely not your grandma's bingo. I fondly refer to it as "Drag Queen Bingo!" They have a wide variety of drag queens who call the balls and guest celebrities. Tonite an organization called "What a Pair" was there to raise money for breast cancer research and it was a ton of fun. There were lots of celebrities on hand and I was shocked to see that the lady who was in the OLD 70's show "Welcome Back Kotter" with John Travolta looked EXACTLY the same as she did when she played Kotter's wife! I want the name of her doctor, lets just put it that way! I actually won a game of bingo but then another lady called Bingo too! She was a breast cancer survivor and in the middle of treatment so she was kind of slow. I was ready to give her the game at that point but we played a game of highball and I lost. For my consolation prize, I got to reach into the "Bag of Crap" and won baby booties and a cap that said "My Little Monkey" on them! My friend "Bingo Boy" who puts all this together was shocked that I did not go outside to smoke. I told him I had quit and told him about Chantnix, the miracle drug that has been so helpful in me quitting. Anyway, it was nice to go out and have fun and not miss smoking. It has been 65 days on Chantix!

Peace,

Diva

One Month left on Chantix....Kind of Scared!

I have been on Chantix for exactly 64 days now. I filled my last prescription and am kind of scared about going off of it. What if the cravings come back? What if I slip? I mean, I have been smoking since I was 12 years old which is 30 years. Of course I am concerned. I signed up for the stop smoking program again starting January 10th. Since this is the most success I have had quitting, I am nervous. I e-mailed a doctor who has an on-line quitting support group to ask about the possibilities of staying on Chantix for a bit longer and if there were potential side effects. I read on the Chantix site that if a patient has beeen successful with quitting, the patients doctor can extend the prescription. Here is where I really need input from the old timers who quit smoking, stopped taking Chantix and are still successful. What did you guys do? Were you scared? Did you extend the prescription? What was life like after Chanitx? Magggie, I know you did a tapering off thing. I want to think about my options and keep an open mind. I am sure the right answers will come to me. All I know is I have been smoke-free for quite awhile and I want to stay this way. Please share your exeriences with me....the good, the bad and the ugly. I will be grateful no matter what I hear.

Speaking of life changes, I watched the season premire of "The Biggest Loser" Couples. I was so touched by the people on there willing to do ANYTHING to change thier life--even go on national TV and be humbled in front of all the viewers watching them do it. Jillian Michaels and Bob Harper are kick ass trainers! I think I am ready to make steps to change my diet and exercise habits. I mean real changes....not just turning on TV and watching other people sweat! When the contestants went to the morgue and saw the health effects of bad lifestyle choices, it kind of made me realize that eating bad foods and being a couch potato is going to ultimately do the same thing to my body organs as inhaling poision. I mean, I really want to change my life. That is why I quit smoking. Smoking was my main issue but obesity-related illnesses can be just as deadly. I think I am going to check out gym memberships, becasue believe it or not, once I get going and quit acting like I am being abused, I really like working out.

I am off to bed. I am going to get my dental work finished tomorrow. A new crown, a deep cleaning to keep the gum disease away and God knows what else. Fortunatly I already had the root canal last year.
Peace,
Diva