Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Craving a Smoke and Other Bits of Madness....
I don't know why but I am craving a cigarette something fierce today and was yesterday too. I mean, come on....we all know they put additives and a ton of other junk intere already but I have been off of them for quite awhile now. I think I just need to remember all of the junk they stick in there.... Yesterday another teacher was in my classroom as he had left some stuff behind and was taking it out of the storage closet. I was kind of surprised when he asked me if I smoked. I told him, "No, I quit last year." He said he quit also but he happened to have some leftover cigs in with his belongings. We then got into a discussion on why we both made the decision to quit. I happened to catch a glimpse of the Marlboro Lights box and was thinking to myself, "Damn, those sure look good!" I have been craving one since yesterday. I know the feeling will pass....it always does. Besides, I am coming up on 11 months on the 11th so I am in the homestretch of making it a year. I want to keep going on this journey of being a non-smoker so I am using one of the tools I have learned and that is writing about it. Besides, looking at the picture I selected to illustrate this blog brings it all back! The Nicodemon is always going to tell me "one would be nice." I just have to think happy thoughts and do something else and eventually the craving will pass.
Its funny, I really do not see myself as a smoker anymore even though I am craving a cigarette. I got together with some friends a couple weeks ago and we went to an NA meeting and they were puffing away. I could notice how nasty it smelled and that they had brown spots on their teeth! They were cool and surprised that I quit and tried to move away when they lit up. They are just getting clean again so I know why lighting up is important to them. I was the same way when I got clean. Now, I am just glad I have managed to stay off cigarettes so long, one day at a time. I have saved around $1,400 and smell A LOT better! A big shout out goes out to MammaFlo for reaching her year smoke free! MammaFlo started on Chantix about six weeks prior to me and she made it over a year off cigs and is holding strong. I know if all these other people can do it, I can too! Ok, I feel better already just knowing the feeling and desire to smoke will pass! I wish I waited for the Chinese food craving to pass last night! I was dying for some fried rice and I did go get some. It was good but I could definitely taste the "fried" component. I have not eaten any kind of fried food in months. I will be back to the preferred eating plan tomorrow. Gotta run.