Friday, December 5, 2008
I cannot believe that I have not posted anything since my year anniversary off cigarettes! Amazingly enough, I still do not smoke cigarettes and even though I think about them, I know that if I actually light up, I do not know if or when I will be able to quit again. I always try to remember that I am "A puff away from a pack a day habit" and I really do not want to go back to being a slave to Nicotine or should I say Nico-demon! When I went to the doctor's the other day he told me they were getting a ton of reports about Chantix side effects and all I can say is I am glad it worked so well for me. I am glad that I was able to take it and have it successfully assist me in my quit! Blogging helped quite a bit also. Support is always nice.
I really miss blogging but have been too busy to even post anything. Also, since I am working two jobs, I am feeling too lazy! I guess I really am an all or nothing kind of girl as I either really blog, work out, eat right, quit smoking or I don't. I have been kind of so-so with my eating plan but really wanted to post since its the end of the Hot for the Holidays contest. I also felt bad after a couple people were kind enough to e-mail me, and ask exactly where the hell I was. I figured I should at least check in.
First, I want to send a shout out to Christie O. over at "Baby Tea Leaves" Blog. She so rocks for hosting the Hot for the Holidays Contest. It is a really motivating experience to know even if I screw up for the week, someone else is going to motivate me to get on task for the next week. I do not know how much I have lost since the beginning of the "Hot for the Holidays" contest, but I do know that I have lost a total of 20 pounds since August 16, 2008. This week I lost two pounds which put me at 20 pound mark instead of 18! For whatever reason, I just like the sound of a solid 20 better!
Even thought my diet and exercise program is FAR from perfect, I have made significant changes that I can pretty much stick with. I STILL pack my lunch daily and do not eat a ton of junk! I have had only one meal in the school cafeteria and that was out of desperation! I try to avoid junk foods for the most part and have cut certain foods out of my diet completely or eat them really rarely. Soda is like a once a month treat! I could not go back to eating the way I was and when I have eaten a couple of really bad meals or I ate too much, I got very sick! My body just cannot process food the way it used to! That could be considered a good or a bad thing. For example, I went to Magianno's for Thanksgiving dinner and basically stuffed myself! The food there is AMAZING and it was "All you can eat." Lets just say I got SUPER sick and just because "All you can eat" is offered does not mean I need to take the restaurant up on it! I need to be able to see at least half my plate and then see the food on it! I do not think I will eat like that again any time soon. Anyway, thanks for all of the motivation Christie and fellow bloggers! I am not going to go nuts now that the contest is over...in fact my plan is to SCHEDULE more exercise into my week! I see these two women I work with walking around the school every morning like clockwork and the are literally MELTING away....since September they have lost a ton of weight and their determination has motivated me! I see them walking for probably a half hour EVERY morning no matter what the weather and the results speak for themselves! I have taken it as far as I can go with dietary change! I really need to commit to more exercise!
Anyway, for all of you who have been participating in this challenge, keep up the good work and congratulations to everyone on their losses.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Hey all! I actually made it...a year and one day off cigarettes! I have REALLY wanted one the last couple of days but I keep telling my head, "Thanks for sharing.....it will pass!" I kept remembering the pick of the lady smoking through her neck and pulled it up. It reminds me of the insanity of nicotine addiction! I have kind of resigned myself to the idea that I will probably always think of smoking but I don't have to light one up! I know how sneaky that evil drug Nicotine is....its always waiting for a trigger or a weak moment. Blogging has helped me as much as the Chantix has. I will have to keep posting. I decided to post the picture of the gross smoking neck more for myself than to shock others! Every time I want a cigarette I always think about this! If you are thinking about quitting, it really is worth it! Most of the time, I really do not miss this horrible habit!
Monday, November 10, 2008
Recently, I went out with some smokers to the protest to overturn Proposition 8 and there were a ton of people smoking...the second-hand smoke got me kind of sick! (Yep, tobacco companies LOVE to target minority communites...hence the high level of gay people who smoke...right up there with Asians! ) I later went and saw a band lay at a club in Hollywood and I watched the the guitar player as he was smoking onstage and playing at the same time and was wondering how cool did he think he was? It was a small club and the air quality was already bad! I am glad I am over thinking that cigarettes are cool! Some people still buy into the "cool" image but how cool is he going to look hooked up to an oxygen tank? Go figure!
To celebrate, I took the day off today since I have tomorrow off and am going to go to the casino to gamble a little bit! I have not been in at least three months! Maybe I will get lucky! Wish me luck! Gotta run and get ready! I think I will go play the slots in the non-smoking section....what a novel concept huh? Thanks for all of the support everyone and if you are thinking about quitting, it was one of the best decisions I have ever made!
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
Well, I have indulged in too many sweet treats and gained a pound! I am not going to change my weight tracker unless the pound is still on when I weigh in next Friday! If I am still up a pound I will change my weight tracker to fifteen pounds lost. Call it denial, but I do not think I ate THAT much candy! I have eaten a bit more processed foods than usual so sodium could be at work here. A week of "detox" meaning no added sodium and healthy moderate carb should bring m back to where I need to be. All in all, I must say that the damage could be worse! Hope everyone did better than me and actually LOST instead of gained! Hope everyone is having a wonderful Halloween!
PS: In eleven days, on November 11th I will have a year off cigarettes! Amazing huh?
Saturday, October 25, 2008
I have had a bit of the stomach flu that has been going around so I have not really feeling too well or like posting much....for that reason I am labeling today is cameo catch up day!
First, I cannot believe that I have not lost any weight! I mean, having the stomach flu should have SOME benefits, but nope, apparently not for me! I am still at a 16 pound loss but in the last couple weeks, no loss, no gain! I guess I cannot complain. I have not done all that much in terms of meeting my weight loss goals so I can't really complain....but I am complaining! Oh well, there is always next week! The one thing I need to remember is when I work really hard on something, I achieve. When I half step and half ass, I accomplish very little! What a novel concept huh? Do something, get something! Do nothing, get nothing! I was more in the latter than the former so I guess I shouldn't be too upset! Besides, there is always next week!
The smoking thing was really hard a couple days this week. I wanted one so much I could taste it so I went back to my "quit class" to check in! I will have a year off the crap on November 11 and I really want to make it! It was cool to go check in...my facilitator was glad to see me and asked me to share with the class! Seeing people struggle hard to get a day off nicotine make me realize that delaying smoking a cigarette is way better than actually smoking one! I have not craved a cigarette in quite some time. Lets just say whenever I am under the weather, I want to smoke cigarettes and think about menthol's quit a bit! I don't really understand why it happens! Before I quit smoking, I would always crave getting high. I don't act on the feelings but they come up every time I am sick or rundown! I am feeling a lot better today fortunately.
Gotta run and catch up on some paperwork but first I am going back to bed for fifteen minutes!
Friday, October 17, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
For those of you who have ever read my blog, the number eleven is super symbolic of change in my life and has been ever since I woke up out of the fog of drugs back in 1987! Nmber eleven has been sending me messages for a long time! Since this is the eleventh month of my quit, I am feeling nostalgic!! Don't get me wrong, I am looking forward to hitting a year on my actual quit date (11/11/09) but I am going to reminise a bit today because I am in the 1th month and yeah, eleven is special to me!
Gotta run, I am off to celebrate with a mani/pedi!
Friday, October 10, 2008
Hey All You Hot for the Holiday Folks:
Well, this was not a good week on the weight loss front. The two pounds I lost I put right back on! I may have gained more, who knows. This little slip up make me remember a couple of really important things this week. They are as follows:
1.) First, I need to always remember to pack my food for the day. This Tuesday I was running late and I did not pack my lunch, no water, nothing! I ultimately ended up in the school cafeteria. Yep, the food is HORRIBLE! (Since I eat small meals or snacks frequently throughout the day, by the time lunch hit I was starving!) I ended up eating macaroni and cheese which was served with garlic toast! Talk about carb overload! It was all downhill from there. Too many processed carbs for me makes me feel sluggish and rundown. Unfortunately, even though too many carbs (especially processed carbs and/or white sugar/flour) make me feel bad, once I start eating them, my body starts to crave more. Once I got started it was REALLY hard to stop putting them in my body! Today (Friday) was the first day I am back to a more normalized diet. Since I do not eat white flour anymore, I think that the white bread and regular macaroni I ate had a profoundly addictive effect on my body. Maybe its my imagination but I swear I was craving carbs like I was on drugs! I mean, I even ate a whole box of wheat thins! Fortunately for me I had purchased the smaller box!
2.) Bad eating is like smoking one cigarette... Once bad eating or smoking or whatever starts, its super easy to say "F*C^ It" and keep going! What started out with one bad meal lasted three days and I am still not totally sure if I am done! (Just being honest!) I will have it all out of my system by Sunday for sure!
3.) I make a daily choice to do what I need to do as opposed to what I want to do. I know that if I keep doing what I am doing I will keep getting what I am getting......and that can be good OR bad! When I eat properly and work out, I lose weight. When I eat poorly I feel badly and gain weight. Life is about choices and this week I made some really bad ones!
4.) I alone can choose to change my circumstances. Next week I will make sure I am up early enough to pack a lunch and go to the store to buy groceries. If I do not buy processed foods like Wheat Thins, I will not have them to eat! By the way for those of you like me who at one time believed that Wheat Thins were "healthy," According to many nutritional articles, "Wheat Thins are made from wheat, which is a grain but in reality what started off as a whole grain in the end the product doesn’t even resemble its former self. Wheat thins are enriched, contain high-fructose corn syrup, oils, and artificial additives. Also, there’s hardly any fiber, so they are digested quickly and will definitely spike your sugar levels." This is what happened to me and I think caused a carb load induced eating binge! Lets just say I did not stick with the recommended serving size of 13 crackers!
I hope everyone did well this week.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
These are some of the pictures from a folder I was given today from the TUPE (Tobacco Usage and Prevention) coordinator... if he only knew! The folder was decorated with lots of smoking animals and truthfully, I did feel kind of silly thinking about a cigarette after looking at it! I am close to 11 months off of that crap and need to keep it that way! Thought I would pass it along! As a former smoker for over THIRTY YEARS, its kind of embarrassing to think I once thought that smoking cigarettes looked cool!
Friday, October 3, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
I don't know why but I am craving a cigarette something fierce today and was yesterday too. I mean, come on....we all know they put additives and a ton of other junk intere already but I have been off of them for quite awhile now. I think I just need to remember all of the junk they stick in there.... Yesterday another teacher was in my classroom as he had left some stuff behind and was taking it out of the storage closet. I was kind of surprised when he asked me if I smoked. I told him, "No, I quit last year." He said he quit also but he happened to have some leftover cigs in with his belongings. We then got into a discussion on why we both made the decision to quit. I happened to catch a glimpse of the Marlboro Lights box and was thinking to myself, "Damn, those sure look good!" I have been craving one since yesterday. I know the feeling will pass....it always does. Besides, I am coming up on 11 months on the 11th so I am in the homestretch of making it a year. I want to keep going on this journey of being a non-smoker so I am using one of the tools I have learned and that is writing about it. Besides, looking at the picture I selected to illustrate this blog brings it all back! The Nicodemon is always going to tell me "one would be nice." I just have to think happy thoughts and do something else and eventually the craving will pass.
Its funny, I really do not see myself as a smoker anymore even though I am craving a cigarette. I got together with some friends a couple weeks ago and we went to an NA meeting and they were puffing away. I could notice how nasty it smelled and that they had brown spots on their teeth! They were cool and surprised that I quit and tried to move away when they lit up. They are just getting clean again so I know why lighting up is important to them. I was the same way when I got clean. Now, I am just glad I have managed to stay off cigarettes so long, one day at a time. I have saved around $1,400 and smell A LOT better! A big shout out goes out to MammaFlo for reaching her year smoke free! MammaFlo started on Chantix about six weeks prior to me and she made it over a year off cigs and is holding strong. I know if all these other people can do it, I can too! Ok, I feel better already just knowing the feeling and desire to smoke will pass! I wish I waited for the Chinese food craving to pass last night! I was dying for some fried rice and I did go get some. It was good but I could definitely taste the "fried" component. I have not eaten any kind of fried food in months. I will be back to the preferred eating plan tomorrow. Gotta run.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
I have no idea what pushed me to be so ambitious or how "average" became totally unacceptable to me. I am not being disrespectful to those who consider themselves "OK." I kind of wish I was more able to be "OK" instead of striving to be better all the time. I am really envious of people who can just do their job, go home when the day is over and show back up the next day. They do an "OK" or even a "good" job when they are there and don't think too much about responsibilities when they leave. I want to be more like that! At least that's how I feel today....tomorrow I may change my mind on the whole discussion. I am doing the "Hot for trhe Holidays" contest along with some other bloggers and have had to deal with levels of just doing "OK" and its driving me nuts! Maybe its not just all about weight loss....maybe its also about acceptance and allowing myself to be doing an "average" amount of work towards reaching my fitness goals. More will be revealed.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Just a quick check in.....since I went to Fitcamp (August 15--30 2008) I have lost a total of 15 pounds! I lost three more pounds and am finally back in a full size smaller clothing! I had a half a closet full of clothes that I could not fit into and it was really a wake up call to have to go buy clothes in a bigger size because I could not fit into anything that was in my closet! This is a quality problem and I am happy with the results, I just wish it wasn't so much work! It is so easy to gain a pound and so hard to take one off.....kind of like its easy to spend money but not that easy to get it! Again, these are quality problems but any change is still a tad bit stressful and I do not deal with stress well at all! I have anxiety attacks and then get asthma so I have to watch my stress levels!
Monday, September 15, 2008
Wassup? I Do Not Think All Christians are Crazy....Just the Ones Posting Like They are Trying to Start A Cult!
After avoiding my own blog for a couple of days because some crazy people (OK, one) who feels the need to post their opinions over and over and try to force their beliefs on others, I just got really annoyed! Some people give Christianity a bad name. Most "real" Christians, Jews, Buddhists, AA members or whatever do not feel the need to recruit people to their religion and figure if people are interested in their beliefs, they will ask! Its called attraction rather than promotion! I am pretty much a live and let live kind of person but since I have been bombarded with comments about AA and being told that Alcoholic Anonymous is of the devil, I am going to hell etc,. I have decided that I think that some people are just bored and feel the need to force their belief systems on others. They should try talking to people who are actually interested and have expressed interest in their organization! While I have been a member of a Twelve Step Program for over twenty years, I am not on here trying to recruit new members. If people are interested, they will ask. Its not my job to promote AA and I don't care one way or another if someone wants to be a part of the program or not. Now if someone expresses interest, I am more than willing to discuss my experience with the organization. All I have to say is if I don't ask you for spiritual assistance, don't feel the need to save me! I am doing just fine......really!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Anyway, it is September 11th and while that day is a day full of tragedy and sorrow, it is a good day for me today. It symbolizes ten months off of cigarettes and all nicotine products,,,,,,no chew, SNUS, gum, patches NADA! It is still hard some days but I have some great support here in blogger land and I am more committed than ever to not pick up again! It really does get easier and oh my God, the money I have saved is really amazing! It was like I was setting $20.00 bills on fire and throwing them out the window! I am off to work but for those who are trying to quit or struggling to stay quit, its really the best gift you can ever give yourself and your family.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Monday, September 1, 2008
Just a quick post before I go grocery shopping.....gotta get rid of the really unhealthy food and go shopping for what is on my eating plan. The regular salt stuff has definitely gotta go! For those interested, in the final weigh in, I lost 12 pounds total and a ton of inches!! I was really happy and plan to continue this journey towards overall better health. I will continue to keep a food journal and I was surprised that they have really good ones online! After being FORCED to do a food journal everyday, I am now in the habit and it really keeps me accountable for what I put in my mouth. The numbers don't lie! Its amazing how many calories I could consume simply "grazing" or "taking a bite or two" of something!
I am a bit tired as I got in late last night but it feels great to be home. I strained my left side a bit during the last couple days of camp but dragging a heavy piece of luggage through the airport really did me in! I am going to make a chiropractor appointment for this week and take today as a rest day.
I missed my cat and at first she was furious with me and now she is being a sweet girl. Siamese cats are like that...they will hold a grudge if ya piss em off! Time to get in the shower and go grocery shopping.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
I cannot believe that it is already day four here at fitcamp. I must say changing my diet and getting significant exercise is one of the hardest things I have done next to quitting cigarettes. Actually, earlier in the day I was so feeling one. I remembered back in the day (long, long ago) when I used to go to the gym, do 20 minutes on the treadmill, do a step aerobics class and then do 20-30 minutes on the treadmill to cool down. I had a really high capacity for exercise fourteen years ago. After I was done, I would go outside and smoke a cigarette and it was like my treat for doing a great job! Now, I realize how ridiculous that is and told myself , "Thank you for sharing! " Running is hard enough without adding the cigarette factor it. Speaking of running, my first day here I told Isabeau that I needed to hold onto the treadmill because I didn't think I could do it without holding on. My balance is not all that good to begin with and my cardiovascular endurance is horrible! Well, today I was RUNNING.....yeah I mean really running! On the treadmill AND in the gym during circuit training! I was impressed that I managed to even jog but run....who would have thought it! If you would have asked me if I would be running here on day four I would have told you," Hell no!" I am finding I can do way more than I ever thought possible. I think most of the people who are here are discovering the same thing. While the workouts are intense and challenging, I do not feel like I am incapable of moving. They push you hard but not so hard that you feel like you will end up traction. Well, actually today was pretty bad...I was lying on the hardwood floor feeling like I was going to die and now I feel OK. I asked Jimmy Moore's wife to take some pictures so I can post em so I will do that later. I am feeling almost too tired to post pictures! My days are spent planning meals, cooking, going to the gym twice daily and then reflecting on the process. Me and the other people are starting to bond. Its easy to do when you are with the same people 2/4/7.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Fitcamp is kicking my behind....literally! We have been doing non-stop circuit training and most of the campers were extremely sore! After the workout with Jacob (above in the video) I went home and collapsed! After my nap, it was time to eat lunch and then back to the gym where we had an hour treadmill workout! Isabeau showed us a way to work out on a treadmill that I would have NEVER thought possible! Imagine doing pushups and pullups on a treadmill! I had a bit of an asthma episode from the cardio but took some medicine and was fine. I feel better and stronger after each workout. For those looking to see the full series, feel free to log onto Jimmy's Livin La Vida Low carb youtube page. The address is: http://youtube.com/livinlowcarbman
Gotta run...we must eat every three hours and it is that time!
Monday, August 18, 2008
When we first arrived and went over everything, Isabeau kept telling us that we were going to be sore. Actually she said it so often that I wondered if she was over exaggerating. I guess we will see as the first few days go by. If you are interested in seeing some of my journey as well as the other people I am with,or you want to know more about fitcamp and low carb living, you can see it on Jimmy Moore's Living La Vida Low Carb Blog. He is here participating and he and his wife are documenting the whole experience for the readers of his blog. His blog has a ton of information on low carb living. He will also be posting video clips daily so if your desperate for some excitement, take a look!
Anyway, today was our first workout with Jacob and I did an hour of cardio and then another hour workout with Jacob. The groups were split into two groups and we flip-flopped. Four of us did cardio and then four worked out with Jacob. (there are a total of eight of us) Lets just say this vacation will not be an eating through the south tour which is basically what I did last year when I was on the Civil Rights tour for work. I did go and eat at Corkeys BBQ last night....the proverbial last supper so to speak. Today the detox from prefabricated foods begins!
As for smoking....let's just say that I am glad that I am not a smoker trying to get in shape as it is bad enough being a former smoker trying to get into shape. I need to go and eat lunch as we go back to the gym at 1:30. We are required to eat small amounts every three hours so our body will be fueled properly. I am off to make my low carb (no bread-lettuce leafs instead) turkey sandwich. I also need to menu plan so if you guys know any good low cal recipes for chicken breast etc. let me know!
Friday, August 15, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
For those of you who think this is an effortless quit, this has been far from a party but definitely worth it! Since I quit, I have saved a ton of money, am not a slave to a big Marlboro and don't stink. I have two more hours additional time every day because I do not have to go wander around looking for a place to smoke! Don't get me wrong, I still go through rough patches and I still want to smoke at times; but I just don't do it. I have learned through this journey to take opposite actions and the feelings will pass. The other day I posted a really long blog because I was super pissed. When I am pissed, it triggers my desire to smoke. Writing is a way better outlet than smoking. By the time I was done with that post, I not only had no desire to smoke but I actually felt empathy for the lady and her addiction and went back and rewrote some stuff as my feelings had changed about what was happening. What that situation was unpleasant, it could not have come at a better time. It confirmed my desire to stay a non-smoker and made me realize that I have no desire to go back to being a slave to big Nicotine Could I slip and smoke? Sure... but taking actions that I know are going to help me rather than drag me back to cigarettes is how I have to do it, one day at a time.
I want to give a shout out to all my fellow on-line pals who are or have been blogging about their own quit journey. If you were around longer than me, started after me or even if you went back to smoking; I truly appreciate all the feedback I have received from everyone. You guys rock! I feel super grateful that I have gotten to get to know such a great group of people. I am off to go do some shopping for my trip to Nashville. I am leaving on Saturday and will be gone for two weeks! I am really excited as it is a new beginning for me in terms of diet and exercise.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Well, anyway come to find out that the reason were were in this particular parking lot was this lady was HIDING the car from her boyfriend. What better place to hid a vehicle the REPO man and an irate boyfriend are trying to find other than in a social services building parking lot! OK.....After about an half hour had passed, we had to stop by her house so she could pack a bag...I walked in the door and the smell was DISGUSTING! The smell of stale cigarettes permeated throughout the entire house! Now, I do my best to not be one of those obnoxious former smokers who is rude to people who happen to have the same addiction that I have been given a reprieve from (one day at a time anyway.) I just think I was just in shock how bad an apartment can spell that has four smokers who actually SMOKE IN THE HOUSE! All I could say was, "Oh my God....it was that bad!
What pissed me of the most was I started having an asthma attack and could not breathe. Between the arguing and the cigarette smoke, I was done! Even after I pulled out the asthma pump, the people there still continued to puff away! I was really surprised but then again, I wasn't. I was a smoker for over thirty years and it finally hit me what a selfish habit smoking really is. I STILL know people who have kids who smoke in their homes even though they know about the hazards of second-hand smoke on children's respiratory systems. I'm not saying I am perfect or would not have been one of those types of parents, I mean my mom smoked her whole life inside the house and in the car! If we didn't like it, oh well! Why would I be any different than what I grew up with? I know one lady who has kids who considers herself a great parent and in most areas I think she is. I am not here to judge. What I am judging is even though she knows what the research says about secondhand smoke and two out of three of her kids have asthma,she STILL continues to smoke in the house and pretty much refuses to go outside and smoke. I think that the addictive nature of the drug nicotine makes people really selfish when it comes to getting their "fix" I know because I was the same way! I defended my right to kill myself constantly and I used to think all these laws that prohibited smoking in public places and in a car with children were a bit much. I am now beginning to rethink my position on this issue. I mean really now! Kids are not making the decision to kill themselves or damage their health and I kind of see that maybe these laws are necessary to protect the innocent people who choose not to kill themselves with cigarettes. If it will improve one kids health to make smoking in a car a ticketable offense, I say so be it. If I saw someone having an asthma attack and they told me that they were leaving to go outside because of it, I would probably put my cigarette out....but then again it may depend on how bad I was fiending for one! I know from firsthand experience how addictive nicotine is. As mad as I was that the lady and her boyfriend for smokling, I am sure they felt like they needed a cigarette! I know I have behaved the same way when it came to smoking. They were like the addicts that I grew up with...they needed their fix no matter what the consequences were to themselves or others. In this situation, since I did not like what was happening, I needed to be the one to leave.
I told my friend that I was feeling sick and needed to go outside. When my friend came out, I had to do everything in my power not to totally lose my temper! I told her, "I know that your trying to be a friend to this lady but you have to be back to meet your study group to study for you final and she is not the least bit concerned that you miss your appointment. " Not only that, I can't breathe in there and am not staying. This is complete bullshit! Yeah its her house but its just rude! I don't need to be around a situation like this that feels uncomfortable. My friend finally got the lady in the car and then she decided she needed to go back to her car but was not sure if her husband was following her. We ended up dropping her back at the vehicle and told her to meet us at the house. We saw her rolling back to the apartment most likely to continue to argue with her boyfriend.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Thanks so much for the support. There definitely seemed to be something in water when I started reading other blogs and seeing I was not the only one who was having cravings! Maybe it was the moon alignment or the planets or something but whatever it was, I am glad that it has passed and I did not light up.
I was reading some posts from another quitter VJ Sleight at http://stopsmokingstayquit.blogspot.com/ and the post "Quitting is not a One Time Event" really hit home! I have been off cigarettes for almost nine months! (The 11th is the big day!) Its easy to forget that every little accomplishment creates a situation where even if I have a really strong urge, I know it will eventually go away! Just knowing that I can get through things without lighting up a cigarette is a miracle that is easy to take for granted! I cannot afford to take this gift for granted...its too easy to go back to active addiction so I continue to blog about it which brings me to my next topic....Weight gain and fitness (or lack thereof) after quitting. I must say, I feel like VJ is writing topics especially for me and I have been on her blog a lot! Her last post, Weight Gain Tied to Emotional Issues when Quitting Smoking almost made me fall off my computer chair! I mean, I definitely wasn't going to fall off my treadmill! Anyway, in that same post, VJ stated, "Quitters will often replace food as a source of comfort just like they had been using their cigarettes. With each emotion is an emotional need that needs to be addressed instead of covering it up with a substance." Now when I first read that, I was like ,"Oh hell no!" and I did not want to admit that some of the additional eating could be happening to cover emotions or to fill up what most addicts of one thing or another call "that feeling of emptiness" When I started looking at this level of weight gain honestly, I have to address two things: I am partly eating to deal with emotions and what I am choosing to eat is not what I would call a nutritionally sound diet! I mean, how healthy can the .99 cent cheeseburger at McDonalds be anyway?
I am looking for others bloggers who are working on a fitness plan as a I need one! Anyone who knows some good support sites, let me know. The online support thing seems to work for me! For the record....and its an ugly record but I have to get honest here: I have gained about 35 pounds since I quit smoking and I was not small to start with! I mean, I am carrying around the extra weight of a toddler! I am started to get concerned! I told Christine O. that I wanted to join the weigh-in on Fridays because her "Summer of Me slim down" fitness and exercise contest seemed so cool! I wish I would have been ready to get ummmm "moving" earlier in the summer!
Friday, August 1, 2008
One of the big issues I deal with is anxiety. I don't know if I have ever mentioned it before but when I get really stressed out I get serious anxiety/asthma attacks. Most people don't know about it and I rarely discuss it. I had asthma since I was a little kid-- all that second-hand smoke from my mom's cigarettes didn't help me any. Anyway, when I started getting high and drinking, my asthma and anxiety disappeared for like ten years! When I got sober, I ended up in the ER room at about a year and a half clean. I really believe that asthma is partly triggered by people's emotional status and/or stress levels--(especially mine) and as crazy as it sounds, smoking cigarettes helped me deal with stress so I got way less asthma attacks even as a smoker.
The big question of the day is, how do you guys deal with stress and emotional upheavals now that you have quit? I am forcing myself to get dressed and go do a productive activity. Pay some bills, take a walk and then I will see how I am feeling later tonite. Thanks for listening as always.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
This is why some people were so happy... good service and tons of free booze!
This are some close-ups of the hall decor. The pieces were pretty amazing huh? I love old, historical stuff that can tell a story on its own.
This is where my group worked on our project. Well, actually we had some drama with the group thing. Me and this other guy seceded from our assigned group and did our own project! Being in a scholarly program IS EXACTLY like being on a reality TV show but that is another post for another day.
This is the statue of John Harvard that is located in front of University Hall. I passed it every day before getting to class. It is also known as the statue of "Three Lies."Although the inscription reads "John Harvard, Founder, 1638," none of these three statements is true. The seated figure is not really John Harvard, since no authentic pictures of Mr. Harvard existed; John Harvard was not the founder of Harvard College; and the College was founded in 1636. The statue is an immensely popular draw for tourists, and thousands of visitors a year rub John Harvard's shoe for luck.
The main library and yes, it is HUGE inside!
I never saw more people reading in my life!
Our days were pretty full. We had daily lectures and went on some field trips also.
There are really random things of beauty in Cambridge. Lots of people have these flower boxes in their windows. They are really pretty!
This is the old burial ground right next to the campus....I love old grave sites like this.
This is the Weld Boathouse where the Harvard Rowing Crew practices off the Charles River. All Harvard students and faculty with a valid Harvard I.D. are invited to use Weld's assortment of sculls (one-person rowing shells). I think I will save that for another trip....
Gotta run.....Happy Travels to Everyone! If you are a teacher and are considering applying for a fellowship grant such as Teaching American History or Gilder Lehrman, I would definitely recommend it! It totally changed my perspective of education in more ways than one.
- 1 year off Cigarettes tomorrow (1)
- 10 months off cigs (2)
- 11 months off cigarettes (1)
- 118 days (1)
- 12 weeks on Chantix (3)
- 13 Thursday (4)
- 151 no nicotine (1)
- 16 pounds lost (1)
- 161 days on Chantix (1)
- 193 days off cigarettes (1)
- 211 days off cigarettes (1)
- 240 days off cigarettes (1)
- 40th Anniversery of MLK shooting (1)
- 7 sentence blog about me for Gilder Lehrman institute (1)
- 8 months off cigs (2)
- 8.5 months off cigs (1)
- Alllergies (1)
- Almost 11 months off cigs (1)
- ambition (1)
- annoyed (1)
- ANTM Cycle Nine (1)
- anxiety (2)
- Aretha Franklin concert (1)
- asthma (2)
- back home (1)
- back to blogging (1)
- being a tourist in LA (1)
- being OK (1)
- blogging (1)
- blogging and Chantix (1)
- blogging sucks sometimes (1)
- Bob Greene (2)
- Bored and needing support (1)
- boring blog (1)
- Boston (1)
- bummed out (1)
- Cali and gay marriage (1)
- Canada (1)
- Canada finished 13 Thursday (1)
- cat (1)
- catch up (1)
- Change (1)
- Chantix (1)
- Chantix blog (1)
- checking in (1)
- Clean House (1)
- close to six months (1)
- cold (1)
- coming home tomorrow (1)
- cravings (5)
- decluttering (1)
- didn't smoke (1)
- DNA testing (1)
- Dr. Henry Louis Gates (2)
- drama (1)
- eating plans (1)
- education (1)
- Eight Months off smoking (1)
- election day (1)
- eleven (1)
- equality (1)
- exs (1)
- Fake cigarette (1)
- Fat ticker friday (3)
- Fat Ticker Friday. food relapse (1)
- feeling negative but doing someting positive (1)
- Feeling weird (1)
- Final campus pictures (1)
- Finding your roots (1)
- fit camp (1)
- fitcamp (5)
- Fitcamp exausted (1)
- fitness (1)
- fitness goals (5)
- five months off cigs (1)
- Forcing religion on others (1)
- Gay Marriage in California is in effect (1)
- Gay rights (1)
- Gilder Lehrman Fellowship (1)
- glad I don't smoke (1)
- goals (1)
- Going off Chanitx (1)
- Greatness (1)
- gving back (1)
- Harvard (1)
- Harvard dorms (2)
- Harvard University (1)
- history (1)
- Hot for the Holidays (2)
- how much time off cigarettes (1)
- I love Siamese cats (1)
- I miss all you bloggers too (1)
- I miss blogging (1)
- identity theft (1)
- Inaguration (1)
- Jenny Craig (1)
- Job interview (2)
- life goals (2)
- life is fragile (1)
- Life LIst (1)
- looking for a new job (1)
- lost fifteen pounds (1)
- lots of days off cigs (2)
- lots of money saved (1)
- Mass trip (2)
- money saved (1)
- More on why I like Canada 13 things (1)
- More than three years off Nicotine (1)
- My laptop died (1)
- Need Help posting multiple pics (1)
- new blog ideas (1)
- new job (2)
- new job search (1)
- New Year 2009 (1)
- Nicotine patch (1)
- Niecy Nash (1)
- Nine Months clean (1)
- no on popo 8 (1)
- no time to blog (1)
- not smoking in Vegas (1)
- November 11 2009 (1)
- number 11 in my life (1)
- One day at a time (1)
- One day at a tme (1)
- One year off Cigarettes (1)
- Oprah Winfrey (1)
- Over 200 days off cigarettes (1)
- P-Town (2)
- Paul Oakenfold (1)
- PBS (1)
- Photo collage (2)
- plantar fascitis (1)
- prescription refill (1)
- presentation (1)
- Pretty much off Chantix (1)
- project (1)
- protests (1)
- random facts about me (1)
- reaching out to others (1)
- reading (1)
- reality (1)
- reinvention (2)
- relapse (1)
- relative in town (1)
- scholars (1)
- selfish habit (1)
- Seven Months off cigarettes (1)
- shoot-out in my neighborhood (1)
- sick (2)
- sill not smoking (1)
- Six months since I have blogged Checking in (1)
- six monts off nicotine and cigarettes (1)
- smoking and emotions (1)
- smoking bans (1)
- Smoking in public (1)
- Smoking looks silly (1)
- Snus (1)
- Sobriety birthday (2)
- spring break (1)
- starting a new job (1)
- staying on Chantix (1)
- still quit (1)
- stop smoking class (2)
- stress (3)
- super sniffer (1)
- tapering (1)
- tapering off Chantix (1)
- teaching (2)
- thanks all (1)
- Thirteen States I Have Visited and Why (1)
- Thirteen States part two (1)
- time is money (1)
- tired (2)
- to save money and improve my health (1)
- Trim Up Tuesay (1)
- Trim Up Tuesday (1)
- tuggings (1)
- Two years off Nicotine (1)
- under the weather (1)
- vacation (2)
- vacation photos (1)
- valentines day (1)
- Vegas Baby (3)
- Victoria and Vancouver (1)
- wanted to smoke Hookah (1)
- wanting to smoke (1)
- weight gain from smoking (1)
- Weird layout (1)
- What about me? Chantix blogger dead car (1)
- WNBA game (1)
- work (1)
- Yaz (1)
- Yoda (1)
House of Chantix/Quit Smoking Blogs
- Brandie's quit blog
- Chris's quit blog from the UK
- Jason's blog
- Life is an Adventure...Sherries blog
- Life Rushes By...Lynda's blog
- Lisa Quits
- Maggie's Mind--The First Chanitx Blog I Started Reading
- Mama Flo's Place
- On Chanitx.com
- Quit Coping with Tracee Sioux
- Quit Smoking RX
- Running is Therapy quit
- Stan's Chantix Quit
- Stop Smoking Cigs
- Sue's Journey to Quit Smoking blog
- Tabitha's Quit
- The Chantix Experience
- ► November (4)
- Fat Ticker Friday! Happy Halloween!
- Cameo Catch Up Blog Post!
- Fit Ticker Friday--Couldn't Weigh In
- 11 MONTHS OFF CIGARETTES TODAY! WHAT A MIRACLE!!!
- Fat Ticker Friday--Fell off the Fitness Wagon!
- It Looks Just as Stupid When You Do It.....or I Do...
- Hot For The Holidays...Friday Weigh In
- Wordless Wednesday--Fitness Rocks!
- Craving a Smoke and Other Bits of Madness....
- Wanting Greatness.....
- Fat Ticker Friday...Too Much Change! Stop the Roll...
- Wassup? I Do Not Think All Christians are Crazy......
- TEN MONTHS OFF CIGARETTES AND A QUICK UPDATE ON ME...
- AND YET MORE REINVENTION! I STARTED MY NEW JOB TOD...
- I'm Back and 12 Pounds Lighter...I Survived Fitcam...
- The final Stretch of Fitcamp or Should I Say Last ...
- TRIM UP TUESDAY AND DAY NINE AT FITCAMP
- Fitcamp Day Four--I Can Run Even After Smoking a P...
- Video of Fitcamp Day Two
- Diva of Reinvention at Fitcamp
- Vacation to Nashville, Tenn
- NIne Months Today.....Life is Good!
- People are Outta Thier Minds! I am SO Glad I Quit...
- Fitness, Weight Gain and Getting off the Couch!
- Just When I Thought My Smoking Problems Went Away....