Quitting Smoking One Day at a Time...

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Saturday, August 9, 2008

People are Outta Thier Minds! I am SO Glad I Quit Smoking!

Hey All,

The other day I went to go visit a friend and after dealing with a whole lotta DRAMA, I decided that there are tons of people in life that are outta their frickin minds and the best thing to do is avoid them! Here is what happened: When I got to my friends house she informed me that she had to go pick up her friend really quickly because she was arguing with her boyfriend. I was like, "Ok." We went and got gas, drove to her friends and met her in a parking lot! That's right folks, a parking lot! Not only were we in a parking lot, we were in a parking lot in the hood! Not only were we in a parking lot in the hood, but we were in the parking lot of the San Bernadino Social Services Offices where people go to their court mandated counseling service, anger management classes, drug counseling etc. There was a GANG of people kicking it in the parking lot waiting for God-only knows what! At that point, I knew there was gonna be drama and sure nuff, it was just around the corner! I know I should always listen to my instincts but did not....bad call on my part.

Well, anyway come to find out that the reason were were in this particular parking lot was this lady was HIDING the car from her boyfriend. What better place to hid a vehicle the REPO man and an irate boyfriend are trying to find other than in a social services building parking lot! OK.....After about an half hour had passed, we had to stop by her house so she could pack a bag...I walked in the door and the smell was DISGUSTING! The smell of stale cigarettes permeated throughout the entire house! Now, I do my best to not be one of those obnoxious former smokers who is rude to people who happen to have the same addiction that I have been given a reprieve from (one day at a time anyway.) I just think I was just in shock how bad an apartment can spell that has four smokers who actually SMOKE IN THE HOUSE! All I could say was, "Oh my God....it was that bad!

I knew there was a reason I quit smoking indoors over 15 years ago... I quit smoking in the house WAY before I even considered kicking the love of my life Marlboro Man to the curb! The major reason being the smell and what it does to the the walls, furniture and everything else. The walls in this lady's house were totally YELLOW and from what I found out, they have only been living there for like nine months! The lady decided she was going to get something to eat, argue with her boyfriend and THEN pack a bag! This is all before she decided that she had to tell him she thought they needed "a time out from each other!" Well, he decided that if she was leaving for a "time out" he was taking the car! And it only took him five or ten minutes to"notice" that it was gone from their apartment. At this point the argument and the drama began to pick up and I realized that this whole thing had nothing to do with me or my friend. I started making hints that I was uncomfortable with the whole thing and was telling my friend, "I really need to go, I am not used to dealing with this kind of drama." The lady piped in and said,"Oh this isn't nothing....drama is when the police come!" I was like "Oh hell to the no!"

At that point, I was getting more and more pissed as the minutes passed. I felt like I did when I kicked drugs and would agree to go hang out with old friends who were still using. Well, even with the best of intentions they would want to stop here and there, usually at some drug dealers house. I finally got hip to the fact that I should probably not see them often and speaking on the phone was a way better plan. After awhile, there was really no reason to talk because I really had nothing in common with them. Fortunately, later in life many of these people cleaned up so I got to resume being friends with some of the people I had grown up with.
This situation was worse in a couple of ways. For one, I didn't even know this lady and secondly, I have no problem going out of my way to help people who are trying to help themselves. She could have taken care of all the drama herself and no one would have had to be aggravated! Not only was I pissed off that my time was being wasted. (I come from the world where time is money; and people do not get paid if there is unproductive nonsense happening and I don't just mean in the legit work world.)

What pissed me of the most was I started having an asthma attack and could not breathe.
Between the arguing and the cigarette smoke, I was done! Even after I pulled out the asthma pump, the people there still continued to puff away! I was really surprised but then again, I wasn't. I was a smoker for over thirty years and it finally hit me what a selfish habit smoking really is. I STILL know people who have kids who smoke in their homes even though they know about the hazards of second-hand smoke on children's respiratory systems. I'm not saying I am perfect or would not have been one of those types of parents, I mean my mom smoked her whole life inside the house and in the car! If we didn't like it, oh well! Why would I be any different than what I grew up with? I know one lady who has kids who considers herself a great parent and in most areas I think she is. I am not here to judge. What I am judging is even though she knows what the research says about secondhand smoke and two out of three of her kids have asthma,she STILL continues to smoke in the house and pretty much refuses to go outside and smoke. I think that the addictive nature of the drug nicotine makes people really selfish when it comes to getting their "fix" I know because I was the same way! I defended my right to kill myself constantly and I used to think all these laws that prohibited smoking in public places and in a car with children were a bit much. I am now beginning to rethink my position on this issue. I mean really now! Kids are not making the decision to kill themselves or damage their health and I kind of see that maybe these laws are necessary to protect the innocent people who choose not to kill themselves with cigarettes. If it will improve one kids health to make smoking in a car a ticketable offense, I say so be it. If I saw someone having an asthma attack and they told me that they were leaving to go outside because of it, I would probably put my cigarette out....but then again it may depend on how bad I was fiending for one! I know from firsthand experience how addictive nicotine is. As mad as I was that the lady and her boyfriend for smokling, I am sure they felt like they needed a cigarette! I know I have behaved the same way when it came to smoking. They were like the addicts that I grew up with...they needed their fix no matter what the consequences were to themselves or others. In this situation, since I did not like what was happening, I needed to be the one to leave.

I told my friend that I was feeling sick and needed to go outside. When my friend came out, I had to do everything in my power not to totally lose my temper! I told her, "I know that your trying to be a friend to this lady but you have to be back to meet your study group to study for you final and she is not the least bit concerned that you miss your appointment. " Not only that, I can't breathe in there and am not staying. This is complete bullshit! Yeah its her house but its just rude! I don't need to be around a situation like this that feels uncomfortable. My friend finally got the lady in the car and then she decided she needed to go back to her car but was not sure if her husband was following her. We ended up dropping her back at the vehicle and told her to meet us at the house. We saw her rolling back to the apartment most likely to continue to argue with her boyfriend.

I finally had to tell my friend that sometimes saying "no" is the best word we can use, especially when it comes to self preservation. The woman thought I was being a bitch because I was trying to get her to hurry up and was not interested in watching her and her boyfriend engage in their argument. Truthfully, I didn't really care! Since I was in a shaky smoking situation, my first priority was to me, myself and I. Fortunately, the cigarette smoking was a complete turn-off as was dealing with people who were completely selfish and self centered about their habit/addiction. After that little adventure, I was feeling like I wanted nothing to do with cigarettes or people who engage in drama at other people's expense or who are unwilling to take productive action in their life. I am committed to staying off cigarettes even more than ever! Its an ugly habit.....one that I had for far too long! As for the lady thinking I was a bitch because I stood up for myself, oh well. They say that people's rejection is often God's protection so I guess I was spared from nonsense and foolery yet again! I am not religious but I must say God had been really good to me. It will be nine months for me on the 11th which is Monday!



Jude said...

Wowee. That sounds like a bad 'cops' episode!
I know it was a ridic situation, but you tell a good story.
Amen to no drama. Amen.

Tina-cious.com said...

Damn!!! Glad you're ok though.

MamaFlo said...

You're too old and have been through too much to put up with that shit.
If I even remotely think I'll end up in a situation I'd rather not be in, I drive myself so I have transportation and can leave whenever the urge strikes me.
I'm glad you're okay but you gotta steer clear of people like this Diva.

Stan said...

I don't even know how you got yourself into that situation in the first place! Those situations usually have red flag signs waaaay before they happen! I think the key here is to look back and find those red flags and note them for the future.

So glad you're staying on course. This fight is a bitch.

Brandie said...

Whew! That's what I call too much drama. Good for you, standing up for yourself. I should take some lessons from you, cause I'm not good at standing up for myself.

As far as smoking indoors goes, I think one should have the right unless they have children. I understand the addiction fully -- yet I always took it outside, and never smoked in the house or car. I would have no objections to bans on smoking indoors with children around.

And I try not to be judgemental on smokers, too, but last night a couple walked by me and they smelled stale and nasty. I can always smell the smokers, but it doesn't always smell that nasty. Thank God I don't smell like that anymore!