I will start this blog by saying that I really want to smoke but I am going to write about it instead of doing it. I am a grown adult with the power to think things through before acting on them. I do not have to act on every impulse I have! Acting on my impulses has gotten me a 30 year habit that is hard as hell to break. Not to mention some other really bad consequences for actions I have taken. My most recent is a huge increase in car insurence premiums because I was in a hurry and I choose to "bend" some rules and got pulled over. I need to remember that:
- I DO NOT HAVE TO BE A SLAVE TO NICOTINE, ESPECIALLY IF I CHOOSE TO TAKE ALTERNATIVE ACTIONS.
- I decided to start this blog because I was letting my mind run wild about going out and bumming "just one cigarette" I think this idea started this morning when I was walking past this guy rushing into the 7-11 puffing on a poison stick. The line was REALLY long but he obviously in a hurry to buy a pack of Camels. He was opening the pack before even exiting the store. I was thinking to myself, "Damn, that was me fiending for a cigarette not too long ago." Even though I am grateful that I was not the one in line dying to buy a pack, the smell kept calling my name. I had to go to work so I didn't think too much about it until the stress of work kicked in.
- To keep a long story short, there was lots of drama in the workplace today. Its funny, things that seem OK when smoking now are unacceptable! I was so mad and disgusted that I wanted to smoke my bad mood away. I knew that I had to do something because my head started planning on how I could go bum a cigarette and could almost feel the smoke entering my lungs.
- I knew that this was a definite problem so I started to write this blog and remember WHY I want to be a non-smoker. I do not want to look or feel like a crazed addict. I mean, most people get mad, annoyed stressed or glad but do not feel the need to inhale toxins into their system just to change their emotional state.
- After proofreading this blog, I feel better. I can now get in my car and go home. I would much rather wait out the urge than just "go for it and deal with the consequences later!
Hope all is well in quitting land for everyone else! Actually, my carving has passed and I feel much better.