Hey all...well ok, hey at least a few people who manage to come by and read this from time to time. Man, these last two weeks have been hard! I started getting sick right after I got back from Mexico. I really appreciate the Chantix help the last couple of weeks. I am sick and under a lot of stress but even when the thought to smoke hits me, I realize how stupid the whole thing sounds. Yeah lets see...I have a really severe upper respiratory cold and it went from my head, ears and sinus to my throat and chest. I have athsma so I had to go get a breathing treatment, a chest X-Ray and a shot of steroids in the butt! Hopefully the steroids will help my voice come back. I am supposed to be on pretty much complete silence unless there is something I absolutly need to say.
Oh yes, what fun I was having in Urgent Scare tonite! Guess what my head's best solution to all this was? A Cigarette! !! No way, thats what I said to myelf. I quickly ran down all the reasons I quit. No wonder my addict mind has been addicted to these killers for so long. Nicotine is a drug! Cigarettes are simply a Nicotine delivery system. A damn good one at that considering the other four or five hundred chemicals they stick in there to make SURE you are good and DAMNED HOOKED!!! I like feeling that I have a choice and I just don't want to be hooked anymore. Before I felt that God himself was going to have to come down from the sky and pull those cigarettes out of my hand if I was ever going to stop. I don't feel that today. I feel like I have an actual choice and today I choose to be a non-smoker.
At the doctor's office it was weird having a chest X-ray. For a second I had to wonder, "Damn, what if something bad shows up?" As a smoker I always knew it was a possibility. Fortunatly, everything was fine. No phemonia, no strang things on the X-Ray that couldn't be accounted for. I know every day I don't smoke I increase the chances of having healthy lungs again. At least its something to strive for. Anyway, I am still off work. I hope all is good for everyone out there trying to quit. On-line support is the best!