FANTASY THINKING AT 13 DAYS.....

Lets see...I begain Chanitx on November 1, 2007. It have not smoked since November 11, 2007 which would be like thirteen days being off cigarettes. I just had to get honest about my feelings today. I am feeling TONS of unrealistic expectations about how things should be all of thirteen days later.

First of all, let me just say that having unrealistic expectations does not make them true. In my mind, I should be feeling wonderful and have no cravings. I should be out running miles on the treadmill and preparing to participate in a Tri-ath-alon. I should weight forty pounds less and have suffered no health consequences. In essence, I will feel like I never smoked. YEAH RIGHT!!! After smoking for thirty years, I think there are going to be some after-effects even after putting them down. I am going to want to sit down and "relax" by smoking. Just because I want to do it does not mean I have to. Like Maggie said, "I can be free as long as I let myself be. " That statement alone made me realize I was in fantasy-land thinking and I needed to get out of it quick!

I just re-read that last paragraph and laughed at how funny and ridiculous my thinking is. I realize that I live in a world where most people (especially myself) wants instant gratification. Like I want it now! I just need to get over it and realize that I am feeling how I am feeling and just because I think I should feel a certain way two weeks later doesn't mean its going to happen. My dad used to tell me good things are worth waiting for. I know that that statement is true. I have noticed a lot of people who are posting and have been on this path way longer than me still think about smoking. It just makes me realize that quitting is something that is not going to come easy and I am going to have to work for. I am going to a club tonite and I will not smoke. I have worked too hard to get where I am. I hope everyone who is on this same path is doing well.
Peace,
Diva