I Walked Away from a Smoker Last Night...

My Journey To a Smoking Trigger Place...

I went out last night to a place that I really associate with smoking cigarettes. I have been in AA for over 22 years and have been clean and sober for twenty of those years. When I got sober, smoking cigarettes and drinking coffeee was a huge part of the culture and something I really assiociated with being a member of Alcoholic's Anonymous. Since I have started this journey toward becomming a non-smoker (since the first week of October,) I have only been to this meeting once. I have a lot of friends that goes to this particular meeting and I have really missed it. The one time I did go I brought my laptop to give me something to do with my hands. I have really wanted to go but I knew a was going to have to do a few things differently. Before I left for the meeting I actually thought about what I needed to do to avoid smoking before leaving the house. Since I don't feel exactly like a smoker or exactly a non-smoker, I'm in an odd place. One of the decisions I made was to enter through the opposite end of the building (opposite of the front entrance where all the smokers light up) and when the meeting break occurred, I would not go outside. Since I was not smoking I had not real reason to go out in the cold! It was actually no big deal to stay inside and I didn't really feel like I was missing anything.

After the meeting ended, I was talking to some friends and one of the girls finally lit up but went and stood a few feet away. When the smell started to tug at me, I told them I needed to go. I got into my car, grabbed my "ceramic air cigarette" and took in two deep breaths. I then went and did some grocery shopping. It was easier than I thought. It is definetly easier to stay quit then to start all over again. I am glad I am starting to feel comfortable without the crutch of having to light up to feel comfortable. Its definetly getting easier!
Peace,
Diva